5 Ways to Overcome Perfectionism and Step into Your Bold, Authentic, Joyful Self

Perfectionism is often praised as a strength. High standards. Strong work ethic. Wanting to do things properly.
But for many adults, especially those with ADHD, perfectionism doesn’t lead to excellence. It leads to overthinking, procrastination, burnout, and self-doubt.

If you’ve ever felt stuck because something wasn’t quite “ready”, or avoided starting because you couldn’t do it perfectly, this isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a pattern that can be understood and gently unlearned.

Here are five practical, compassionate ways to loosen perfectionism’s grip and move towards a more confident, joyful version of yourself.

1. Redefine “Good Enough” (and Mean It)

Perfectionism often sets an invisible finish line that keeps moving. Nothing ever quite qualifies as done.

A powerful shift is redefining success before you start:

• What does “good enough” look like for this task?

• What would be acceptable, not exceptional?

• What version would future-you thank you for finishing?

Done is not the enemy of quality. In most areas of life, finished beats perfect every time.

2. Separate Your Worth from Your Output

One of the quiet drivers of perfectionism is the belief that your value depends on performance.

This shows up as:

• Fear of being judged

• Over-identifying with work or achievements

• Feeling exposed when something isn’t flawless

Try practising this distinction:

I can care about doing things well without using them as proof of my worth.

When mistakes stop feeling like character flaws, it becomes much easier to act with confidence.

3. Use Momentum, Not Pressure

Perfectionism often waits for the “right” mood, clarity, or confidence. That moment rarely arrives.

Instead:

• Start before you feel ready

• Use small, imperfect actions to build momentum

• Let clarity come after movement, not before

Confidence grows from doing, not from thinking about doing.

This is especially important for ADHD brains, where action often unlocks motivation.

4. Practise Being Seen Before You Feel Ready

Perfectionism keeps you hidden. Ideas stay private. Projects stay unfinished. Opinions stay unspoken.

Growth often begins with safe exposure:

• Sharing a draft instead of a final version

• Speaking up once, even briefly

• Letting something be seen before it’s polished

Each small act of visibility builds trust in yourself and reduces fear over time.

5. Choose Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism

Harsh self-talk is often mistaken for accountability. In reality, it drains energy and increases avoidance.

Self-compassion sounds like:

• “This is hard, and I’m learning.”

• “Progress counts, even when it’s messy.”

• “I don’t need to earn rest or joy.”

People who are kind to themselves are not less driven. They are more resilient and more willing to take healthy risks.

Stepping Into Your Bold, Authentic Self

Your boldest self is not the one who gets everything right.
It’s the one who shows up honestly, tries imperfectly, and keeps going without constant self-punishment.

Letting go of perfectionism doesn’t mean lowering standards. It means freeing your energy for creativity, connection, and joy.

Final Thoughts

Perfectionism promises safety, but it often delivers fear and exhaustion. Growth, confidence, and joy live on the other side of imperfect action.

You don’t need to fix yourself to be worthy. You don’t need to wait until you feel ready. You are allowed to take up space exactly as you are.